DS Smart Shadows
by Thor2000
Summary: The same week that Barnabas was released from his tomb, Control Agent Maxwell Smart had come to Collinsport looking for Paul Stoddard. What Max finds is a vampire lurking in town.


PART ONE

Burke glanced at his watch as he and Joe waited for Vicki and Maggie to arrive. They had been sitting in the Blue Whale for almost half an hour and their dinner appointment was in ten minutes.

"I'll never understand why women are never on time." Burke wondered out loud.

"It takes a long time to put on all that female war paint." Joe grinned humorously and sipped his beer.

"And they say men are vain." Burke sipped his and then heard the bell on the door. It was another different party as he settled in his seat.

"Yeah," Joe thumbed his empty mug as he thought of Maggie's big brown eyes.

"But don't they make it worth it?"

"Yeah." They heard the ringing of a phone somewhere. At the counter, owner and proprietor Bob Rooney heard the ring and picked up the phone.

"Blue Whale Bar And Grill." He answered, but all he heard was a dial tone. The ringing was still coming from somewhere else.

"Excuse me, sir," Joe turned perplexed to the man at the next table. "Is that your shoe that's ringing?"

"What?" The dapperly attired man looked down. "Oh yes, so it is." He reached down, pulled the shoe off his right foot and lifted it up as he slid the heel away. He flipped up part of the sole and held it to his ear. "Yes, chief,"

"Max," the other voice started. "Did you get in Collinsport, okay?"

"Yes, chief," Max Smart noticed Joe and Burke looking at him. "Do you mind? This is a private shoe." He watched as they looked away thinking he was nuts and eccentric. It was a small price to pay for the national security that Maxwell Smart was authorized to behold.

"Max," The Chief started. "Some years ago this night, a special agent we had named Paul Stoddard vanished before he could intercept a roll of microfilm for us. It contained locations and lists for countless KAOS agents and now we want you to track it down. "

"Any idea what happened to him?" Max smoked his cigarette as he drank his beer.

"None." His boss answered. "Don't worry about finding him, just find that microfilm. 99 will be joining you later to help talk to his widow. Our KAOS informant should also approach you. You'll be able to recognize him by his wolf-handled cane. The recognition phrase is: Swans fly east over Cardogan Square in winter. Got it?"

"Not a problem," Max noticed his cigarette floating in his beer. "You can depend on me."

"I wish you hadn't said that."

"Nothing can happen while I'm on the case."

"I wish you hadn't said that either."

PART TWO

After leaving the Blue Whale Bar And Grill, Maxwell Smart headed back to the room he had at the inn. It wasn't much with that Burke Devlin character renting the entire top floor to start his business, but it was a place to sleep. As turned the corner for the main street, he pulled a cigarette out and poked through his pockets for a match and finding nothing so far. He noticed a figure emerge from the cemetery entrance a few feet from him.

"Excuse me," He started a conversation. "Got a match?"

"A what?"

"A match to light my cigarette." Smart's eyes rolled down the cloak and old-fashioned dress of this stranger, but his eyes noticed the wolf-handed cane. He looked up into the man's moodful eyes.

"In winter, I wear my cardigan sweater." He replied to him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"That's not it." Max thought again. "In winter, swans fly in a square?"

"I'm not in the mood for this." The stranger was getting impatient as he started to grit his teeth. Max looked preoccupied as the shadowy person bared two sharp teeth.

"Swans fly east over Cardogan Square in winter!" Max replied out loud.

"There, I knew I had it!!" He looked up, but the other person had vanished!

"Maxwell Smart? " Another voice was behind him. "I followed you from the bar." It was a woman carrying a wolf-handled cane. She had long black hair and had two blue eyes that appeared black on the dimly lit Collinsport Street. "I'm Kathryn Parker, former KAOS Agent working with Control."

"Yes…" Smart looked around. "Did you see another man here?"

"No, I'm afraid I didn't." She continued.

"You'll have to excuse me, I was told to expect a man." Max continued to the inn with her by his side.

"I told the Chief to tell you that." Parker claimed. "It works better in the event I'm replaced by someone else."

"What info can you tell me about Paul Stoddard?" Smart was quick to get to work.

"Well," Parker started. "He was in the Air Force during the war, worked with Colonel Robert Hogan in Germany before returning to the states. A bit of an opportunist, he left the military just before he married Elizabeth Collins. The marriage had been set up as a prenuptial agreement between their parents. They had one child, Carolyn Stoddard born July 16, 1946. Hogan continued to use Stoddard in assignments for his agency and lent him to Control on occasion, but then he vanished in 1948. No one was ever able to find him. His widow has hid herself from public view waiting for him to return."

"Sounds like a TV series," Smart sounded flippant. They both walked the wooden walkway outside the diner. "Was he supposed to meet anyone that night?"

"You'll have to ask his widow." Parker answered. "Another thing, one of Stoddard's associates in the military was Jason McGuire. Tossed out for disorderly conduct, McGuire got work on a tramp steamer. He's in town too and staying at Collinwood with a William Loomis whom he met on the steamer line. Loomis has a criminal record."

"It just gets better and better." Smart borrowed her lighter.

"No one cares about Stoddard anymore." Parker took her lighter back. "Just find the microfilm. KAOS will be sending agents too, so you will be in danger. You can't trust anyone. Your life will be in danger every minute."

"And loving it!" Smart added.

PART THREE

Carlton Wells, the owner and proprietor of the Collinsport Inn and Diner poured himself a cup of coffee behind the counter as Maggie Evans cleaned up to close. There were only two guests as Wells checked the clock.

"Maggie," he looked up. "Before you leave, can you leave the bottles for the milk man and put up the chairs?"

"Sure," She smiled the grin that made all the boys in town fall in love with her. She heard the bells ring on the inn doors and looked up. "Seems you have another guest."

"Better help her, shouldn't I?" Wells grinned and headed to her. She was a quite lovely girl with blue-green eyes and dark brown hair. Her overcoat was closed up tight as she opened it to her bright green pants suit. She sort of resembled the Collins Governess Victoria Winters.

"Hi," She started. "Susan Hilton. I have a reservation."

"Yup," Wells checked his book. "Last room too."

"Can someone take my bags up?" Susan asked. "I'd like to get something to eat."

"Sure," Wells signed her in. "Make it fast. Diner closes at eleven."

Susan Hilton turned on her heel into the diner off the hotel entrance and immediately recognized someone at the counter. Sitting by him, she glanced the menu over.

"Hi, I'm Maggie." Maggie Evans beamed as she came up to take her order. "What would you like ?"

"Any clam chowder left?"

"Sure!" Maggie smiled.

"That, a salad and some tea."

"Take just a minute." Maggie put down her eating utensils and turned. Susan turned to the man next to her.

"Max, get anything yet." Susan asked her partner.

"Enough," Smart looked up and sipped his coffee. "We're in a lot of trouble, 99."

"Why?"

"The chowder's not that good."

"Max, the case." Agent 99 responded. "Did you meet the informant?"

"Yes," Smart distinguished his cigarette in the ashtray. "No one knows where the microfilm is. Could be hidden at Collinwood or anywhere in town. It's probably wherever Stoddard was when he was killed."

"Any clues?" 99 grinned as Maggie brought her chowder, salad and tea. Max paused from talking as Maggie turned to return to her duties.

"Not really," Maxwell Smart responded secretly. "It all depends on what we can learn from Stoddard's widow tomorrow. We'll need to talk to her."

"I think you're right." 99 swallowed her chowder and sipped her tea.

"I know I'm right." Smart responded. "She may be the key to the case."

"No, about the chowder." Agent 99 Susan Hilton took the pepper and seasoned it. "It really isn't very good."

PART FOUR

Victoria Winters came down the stairs into the kitchen and passed through the dining room on her way to the drawing room. Elizabeth Collins-Stoddard was at the desk working on the monthly bills as she looked up.

"Mrs. Stoddard," Vicki started. "I can't find David anywhere to start his lessons. I'm afraid he may be down at the Old House annoying your cousin Barnabas."

"I'm sorry, Vicki," Liz sighed as lamented her nephew's behavior. "I'll try to have a talk with him."

"Well, look here," Jason McGuire entered through the foyer. "I have never seen two more lovelier ladies!" Liz and Vicki turned their heads in disgust at his transparent compliments.

"Vicki, excuse me," Liz spoke up. "I want a chance to talk to Jason."

"Yes, ma'am." The lovely ingénue closed the doors to them as she crossed to the coat rack behind the front door and took down her coat for the walk to the Old House. She was pulling her long dark locks out from under her collar as she heard the door and turned to open it.

"Hello," Two people stood on the front portico outside Collinwood. "I'm Susan Hilton, my partner Maxwell Smart. We're private investigators trying to track down a Paul Stoddard."

"Mrs. Stoddard's husband?" Vicki understood. "I'll see if she is available." She closed the doors as Hilton and Smart entered and looked up to the huge plate glass window above the stairs and then down the front hall stretching the length of the mansion. Vicki turned to the drawing room doors as Smart noticed the picture of Barnabas Collins on the wall near the front exit.

"What is it, Max?" Susan replied.

"99, I've seen this man before." Smart narrowed his eyes. "But I can't remember where."

"That's impossible, Max." She revealed. "It's a very old portrait."

"Miss Hilton," Vicki showed the way as Jason eyed the two guests nervously. He glanced over the two investigators inquiring on Paul as Vicki started to turn to leave then stopped.

"Miss Hilton," Vicki continued, "Where are you from?"

"Idaho, why?"

"I was wondering if we could be related. I thought we had a resemblance." Vicki answered with the soft innocence of a child and continued on her way. Jason watched the female investigator enter the drawing room. He wanted to eavesdrop but for the other one standing by him.

"So," Smart slapped his hands together and then calmly lit a cigarette. "You're Jason McGuire." He braced dramatically to lean against the table but touched upon empty space and crashed to the floor.

"Yes, " Jason replied in his Irish brogue. "What's your interest in Paul Stoddard?"

"I'll ask the questions." Smart dusted himself off with his burning cigarette tip broken. "How well did you know Paul Stoddard?"

"Oh," Jason grinned connivingly. "We were in the Air Force together."

"Second Battalion, Third Company, The Screaming Nighthawks." Smart knew their flying team. "Up until you were court-martialed for selling supplies on the Black Market..."

"I was framed!" McGuire snapped. "Lefty Horowitz hired me to move boxes. I had no idea where they were going!"

"You were in Collinsport at the same time in 1948 when Stoddard vanished." Smart went on. "Do you know what happened to him?"

"Is that what this is about?" Jason grinned. "I haven't a clue."

"Did he see anyone that night?"

"I don't know, let me think," Jason folded his arms and thought. "We had drinks at the Blue Whale, he said he was going past the bridges and I didn't see him alive after that. Liz later called me to say he was missing the next day."

"The Bridges?" Smart noticed his broken cigarette. "Friends? A location?"

"Who knows?" Jason winced as Smart aimed for the ashtray and snuffed his cigarette on his hand.

"Sorry about that, McGuire."

PART FIVE

After leaving Collinwood, Hilton and Smart split up. She went to check something at the hall of records as he decided to trace the route from the estate to the Blue Whale and back again. Planning to meet back at the bar and grill, she had discovered that there were no bridges in Collinsport and no one named Bridges in the town in its entire existence. Realizing McGuire was not to be trusted, she wondered if he could have lied to Max. Waiting on the docks, she bundled up her overcoat to the cold ocean air wafting in and looked out over Frenchman's Bay. She heard someone coming out of the fog and mist.

"Max?" She looked out. He wasn't Max. He was dressed in a large cloak over his Italian suit and carried a cane. Its head was shaped like that of their informant's wolf-handled cane. He stared longingly into her blue eyes with tortured, tormented eyes. His gaze hauntingly piqued her soul as he came closer and closer. She almost felt herself loved by him.

"Josette?" He asked her. She couldn't look away or respond. His eyes were hypnotic, his presence unwavering. He looked strangely familiar as she tried to think, but all she could do was stare into his eyes. His tortured, longing eyes.........

"99!" Maxwell Smart called. He raced up as she slightly swooned and turned to him. "Sorry I'm late, but this is one screwy little town. I got lost three times on the same street! Are you okay?"

"What ?" 99 caught her breath as she came out of her trance. She rubbed her neck and then rested her hand on her heart. "Oh, um, I was just daydreaming I guess. Did you find anything called Bridges?"

"Nothing." Smart walked her to the Blue Whale. "The shortest possible path from Collinwood to here goes through Eagle Hill Cemetery and I'm not going in there. It's spooky enough during the day, but at night? No way!"

"Max," Hilton stretched out his name when she insisted. "We have to find that microfilm before KAOS recovers it. What about the local police?"

"I couldn't get them to listen to me." Smart lit up a cigarette. "They're too busy trying to catch some maniac who killed two girls. They think he's still in town."

"That's horrible!" Hilton responded with concerned worry. "Do you think the murders are connected to our case in some way?"

"99," Smart put down his cigarette. "Our case is connected to the Collins. What are the odds that the murders are connected to them too!?"

PART SIX

It was late that night when the charter bus finally reached Collinsport. The bus driver stopped on the corner of Parker and Dock Streets as the bus driver hurriedly opened his doors and let go of two of his passengers. There was screaming in German as the two obnoxious travelers disembarked.

"Oh yeah, well, the same goes for your mother!" The slender one with a scar on his face yelled at the driver. He shook an annoyed fist as the disappearing taillights of the bus and grunted before turning to his heavier brunette companion. "Imagine, KAOS forcing us to travel second rate because we botched that last mission. Sitting behind that obnoxious kid..." He turned to scream in the direction of the bus. "I will have my revenge!"

"I'm sorry, Siegfried, you had to sit behind the baby."

"Well, I had the last laugh," Siegfried and his companion, a huge Bavarian known only as Schtarker, crossed the street and continued through the dark dimly lit street. "I took his lollipop!" He thrust it into his mouth.

"Boy, Siegfried," Schtarker looked around the dark shadows up and down the street as they walked alongside the local cemetery. "This Collinsport is a spooky town. I bet it has lots of ghosts. Ooooooooo-oooo- oooooooo..." He mimicked a ghost.

"Schtarker! This is KAOS. We do not Oooooooo here!!! We are here to get back that dummkopt microfilm."

"Sorry, Siegfried," Schtarker looked a little dumber than usual as they looked for an abandoned house to make into a base. "Tell me truth, everyone says you were one who bumped off this Paul Stoddard. Is it true?"

"Nein," Siegfried looked over the cemetery wall. "But I wish it was."

"Why?"

"Because Stoddard was a POW at that idiot Stalag 13." He remembered the stories his father had passed down from the war. "The prisoners there were tunneling there like prairie dogs! And right under the nose of the stupid commandant!" Siegfried and Schtarker stopped suddenly at a truck parked in the gates of the cemetery. Two men were carrying a huge coffin toward the flat end of it.

"Barnabas, we got witnesses!" One called with a Brooklyn accent.

"Willie!"

"What?" Siegfried looked at the two of them. "Here let me help." He popped open the back of the truck and motioned to Schtarker to help the two strangers with the coffin.

"Ein, zwei, drei !!!!" The four of them heaved the thing into the truck. Siegfried patted the coffin.

"Nice coffin," He turned to Barnabas. "You know, as a boy, I used to do some grave robbing myself."

"Thank you very much." Barnabas quietly excused himself as Willie and him entered the cab. They had to get the coffin to the Old House and the truck back to the caretaker's shack.

"Excuse me, " Schtarker turned to Willie. "We need place to stay. Where hotel in your beautiful town?"

"What?" Willie started the pick-up. "Oh, uh, up the street."

"Danke." Siegfried and Schtarker watched them drive off. "Such wonderful warm people. Just like my family in the Fatherland."

"Germany, Siegfried?" Schtarker asked.

"No, Argentina."

PART SEVEN

The moon was falling behind the clouds as Agent 86 Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 Susan Hilton donned flashlights and entered the Collins Road entrance to Eagle Hill. Shining their two beams of lights over the myriad tombstones and markers, they chanced upon a mausoleum upon the hill in the creepy old cemetery and lifted their lights to read the name above the metal door. It read "Collins."

"99," Smart started. "It must be in here. If Stoddard wanted anyone to find the microfilm later, he would have hid it here."

"But what about the comment McGuire made about the Bridges?"

"McGuire's a crook." Max commented as he opened the mausoleum. "How can you believe a crook?" Stepping inside, he shone his light on the three coffins and then the markers above them. Joshua Collins, Naomi Collins, Sara Collins… There was not much of anything else inside the mausoleum as Smart stopped to think. He shone the light up around and into the ceiling supports for sign of anything that didn't belong. He hand glided over Joshua's nameplate and then Naomi's for anything extra. Hilton checked out Sarah's tomb and then her marker then looked to Max for more ideas.

"Max, there's nothing here." She shone the light up.

"Maybe there's a secret hiding place." Smart turned and pulled on the gargoyle.

"I don't think we're going to find any secrets in here." She watched as Max tugged on the ring in the gargoyle's mouth. The sound of a release falling and then the turning of very old gears opened up the wall as they both watched with surprise.

"Well, then, who dug this? Giant gophers?" He looked to 99. She grinned, looked back and started raising her arms. Max looked back himself, did a double take and disgustedly rose his arms.

"Congratulations, Smart." Siegfried and Schtarker stood with guns. "Now, go in there and bring out the microfilm, and no funny business."

"I don't think so, Siegfried." Smart stood in the door. "For you see at this very minute, this entire cemetery is being overwhelmed with a hundred of our best Control agents."

"I don't believe you."

"Would you believe ten police officers and a K-9 Unit?" Max replied. "A rabid girl scout?"

"Get into the dumkopt room!"

Max and 99 turned defeatedly into the room as Siegfried and Schtarker took their flashlights. The four of them ducked and stepped down to the hard dirt floor and looked around the empty concrete walls. There was nothing to be seen except shadows and walls lit by the flashlights.

"Siegfried," Schtarker looked around. "I don't get it. Where microfilm?"

"Why are you asking me? Do I look like I have the answers? Isn't it obvious?" Siegfried turned to Max. "Where's the microfilm, Max, old buddy?"

"We don't know." Agent 99 spoke. "This is just another lead we were following."

"Yes, that's right." Smart saw an opening. "The other location we were going to check was the, uh, West Bridge on the edge of town."

"Good." Siegfried started to turn. "And in case it isn't, you might as well wait here for us. Shtarker! Close the door!"

"Javolt, Siegfried."

Max and 99 looked at each in fear as Schtarker pulled the ring a second time as the entrance closed. The darkness was enveloping them as Siegfried stuck his boot in the way and stuck his head in.

"Excuse me," He asked. "Did you say East or West?"

"West."

"Good." He pulled his boot out of the way as the door closed and entombed the two Control agents in complete darkness.

PART EIGHT

Max and Susan scoured the walls for loose openings or anything that could free them. It had been fifteen minutes since Siegfried and Schtarker had entombed them and they were both positive he'd be back.

"Max," She pulled her dark hair back. "It's useless. There's no way out."

"There has to be, 99. There has to be." He focused through the inky darkness on the wall the door was in. "Step aside." He took a running start and threw himself into it. He smacked hard into it, crossed his eyes and fell back.

"Max!" His trusted partner dived for him. She showed a lot more concern for him than any other agent she had worked with. "Why would you do that? That concrete's a foot thick."

"It looked fake!" He leaned his head back into her lap as she rubbed the melon-sized bump in his forehead. She tried to think of something she hadn't thought of.

"Hello!"

"What?" She dropped Max's head as he called out in pain. It was a little girl bathed in light. She looked like no other girl she had ever seen before. She wore old-fashioned clothes and an old bonnet on her head.

"Will he be okay?" She asked.

"I think so." 99 looked back. "Where did you come from?"

"Oh, around..." The girl was preoccupied.

"Did you get in through a space big enough for us?"

"Sure, that one." She pointed to the sealed door.

"But it's closed." She continued talking as Max passed in and out of consciousness. "Have you been hiding all this time?"

"No. Gosh, you're pretty." The girl replied.

"Well, thank you." She looked back at the girl. "But how can we all get out? Won't you tell me?"

"Count the steps," The girl chanted. "You'll see where the key is kept."

"Count the steps?" 99 looked to them and back. The girl was gone! She gasped as a cold shiver passed up her spine. She left Max on the floor as she inspected the steps closer. She counted the bottom one, then the top one which felt a little loose. Lifting it up, she saw a ring and pulled it as the door opened.

"Max, the door!" She called to him as he blinked his eyes in pain. "It's open!"

"99," He staggered a bit and dropped to his feet again. "Was I dreaming or were you talking to a little girl?"

"We can't worry about that now." She lifted him up. "We have to call the chief." The two of them failed notice the nameplate of Sara Collins as they continued out. It said she had lived from 1785 to 1795 as they hurried through the tombstones for the gate on Dock Street. Max was starting to get his bearings as they crossed another mausoleum. It was much larger and had another name emblazoned on it: Stockbridge!

"99," He stood on his own. "Bridge. This has to be it."

"But how can we be sure?"

"Only one way." He pushed open the doors that lead to a staircase leading underground. At the bottom was a large room filled with dozens of crypts in the walls and shelves of books and records. Moving behind them was an old caretaker in black with his eyes magnified in his bifocals.

"Visitors?" He looked up surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"What? What are we doing here?" Max thought a moment as 99 stood taller on the bottom step. "Uh, oh, yes, my name is Maxwell Stockbridge and this is my sister, Hillary Stockbridge..."

"Hello," 99 grinned with a flip of her hair. "We're looking for our ancestors."

"I didn't know there were any Stockbridges left." The nervous voice of the caretaker cracked a bit as he shuffled with a book he returned to the shelf. "In fact, there hasn't been anyone in here in, oh, several months since that nice girl and her boyfriend visited."

"How about before?" 99 asked as she looked at the vaults and shelves. Max glanced at the urns hanging off the nameplates.

"A few people," The caretaker paused before the marker of Laura Murdoch Stockbridge, which was chipped and cracked as if violently ripped open some time before. "But we mustn't disturb the dead when they're resting. You will have to come back during the day."

"Tell me, sir." Max looked around. "Were these Stockbridges ever buried with their jewelry?"

"Yes, I think so." The old man looked at him carefully.

"How about...." Max took the urn of Paul Stockbridge and emptied it into a pan on the table. He stuck his fingers through it and picked up a shiny silver capsule. "Microfilm?"

"Max!" 99 smiled. "That's brilliant. How did you figure it out?"

"Easy." Max gave it to her and dusted off his fingers in his handkerchief. "I just put myself in Stoddard's place and asked myself where would I have hid it where someone else could find it."

"Brilliant work, Smart." Kathryn Parker stood with a gun in her hand and with Siegfried and Schtarker behind her. The three of them all blocked the stairway. "Recovering that microfilm will rank us very high in KAOS."

"I can't believe I fell for the old-defector-turning-her-back-on-Control-to-get-in-good-with-her-bosses-again trick." Max put his hands up as Siegfried took the microfilm from him. "What is that? Twice this year?"

"Thanks for telling us about the wild goose chase." Siegfried turned to Parker.

"What are you going to do with us?" 99 asked out loud as the confused caretaker watched.

"Easy, Schtarker!"

"Ja, Siegfried." The simple-minded partner jumped to attention.

"Tie them up, I'll set the dynamite."

"Dynamite?" Agent 86 Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 Susan Hilton looked at each other.

PART NINE

Kathryn Parker gazed her blue azure eyes upon the silver flask of recaptured microfilm as Siegfried and Schtarker tied up Agent 86, Agent 99 and the old caretaker. Her cheekbones became evident as she grinned and dropped the microfilm down the front of her blouse for safekeeping.

"You can't be here." The old caretaker was puzzled, worried and alarmed as he was tied to the two strangers and the big guy in leather wired the vault with ten sticks of dynamite. "The dead mustn't be disturbed. They know what is happening and they...."

"Shut up, old timer." Siegfried hit the old man to the head with the butt of his pistol. "If I wanted a lecture, I'd go home to mein father."

"Siegfried." Agent 99 called out. "He's an old man!"

"Couldn't you have just shushed him?" Smart asked.

"This is KAOS." Siegfried repeated himself verbatim. "We do not shush here!" He placed his gun on the table as Parker eyed it, grinned her witchy little smile and picked it up.

"Dynamite set?" She turned to Schtarker.

"Ja," The simple-minded sidekick replied. "This place will go..." He eyed Siegfried giving him the stink eye. "We do not… pbtpbtpbtpbtpbt.. here."

"Good." Parker turned the gun on them. "Now tied yourselves up as well."

"What?!" Siegfried was shocked and appalled as she waved the gun. "Why you lousy, stinking, double-crossing little witch!! How can you do this to me? Schtarker, pass me the rope."

"So sorry my old mentor," Kathryn grinned as she passed her hand over the microfilm in her bra. "But I do not intend to share the glory."

"No honor among fiends." Smart sat on the floor. Siegfried shot him a look and looked to Schtarker.

"Leave it a little loose." He whispered.

"Leave it a little what?!!!!" Schtarker cried out loud as Parker forced him to sit. Placing the gun aside, she finished tying Schtarker herself then pulling it a very tight. She picked up the gun and pointed it at her victims.

"And now," She struck a match off the name of Laura Murdoch-Collins. "To bid you all a fond adieu." She added with a Martinique accent, lit the dynamite and raced up the stairs.

"Max, we have to get out of here!" 99 cried out.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking." Max looked around.

"Oh great," Siegfried griped. "When it's one of my traps, you can't get out of it fast enough. But when it's someone else's..."

Smart shot him a look and looked at the dynamite, and then the cremation urns all around. He started kicking the wall with his feet tied together. The urns started shaking and turning on the wall. He kicked harder as one on the wall fell and shattered over Schtarker's head. Max frowned displeasingly and kicked harder. Another one fell over and crashed to the floor on the long fuse of dynamite. The sparkling flame went out under the age-old ashes and dust.

"Max, that's brilliant." 99 applauded his ingenuity as she felt the blade pop out of his watch and cut the ropes on their wrists.

"Nothing really." He cockily shook his head and took his gun from Siegfried's jacket. "You better get the old man to a doctor while I go after the microfilm..."

"What about me, buddy?" Siegfried looked up.

"And the police for those two."

"Like I needed to hear that!" Siegfried complained as Smart ran up the stairs. Once outside, he looked around and ran toward the closer entrance. A shot ran out! Parker had been waiting for the explosion from the safety of the Collins mausoleum. She fired a few more times as Smart dived behind the tombstone of Gerard Stiles. Parker's shots were knocking chips out of it.

"Sorry about that Stiles." Max mumbled as fired off a few shots.

Parker dived out from the marker of Josette DuPres and ran over to the tombstone of Rachel Drummond. She fired off a few more shots and then ducked and raced toward the Collins Road entrance of the cemetery. She glanced at a marker for someone named Valerie Angelique Collins as if it were familiar then shrugged it off and hid behind the tomb of Peter Bradford. She fired another shot as her gun began clicking.

"That's it, seven shots." Max stood up. "Your gun is empty." Another shot ran out as he jumped behind the marker of Josette DuPres.

"I can't believe I fell for the old spare-gun-in-the-bra trick!"

Parker put her foot on the tomb of the Drew Family and hopped over the wall. She saw the wharfs at the end of the street and ran as hard as she could to steal a boat. Smart was twenty feet behind as she ran through the crowds of people, ducked behind the corner of Braithwaite Jewels and Silvers and peeked out safely. Smart was getting closer. She bolted into the shadows of the alley for the long way to the docks. She heard someone coming closer as a shadow came upon her.

"Josette?" A man's voice asked.

Maxwell Smart heard Parker's voice scream out. He spun, ran around Braithwaite's and ran to the scream. The small tin of microfilm rolled out to meet him as he looked up. Parker was lying a few feet from him. Lifeless, she had an odd look in her eyes as Max felt for a pulse. Clenching the microfilm, he realized her throat had been ripped out as police officers and several bystanders came running.

"Government agent!" Max dropped the microfilm in his pocket and flashed his card to an officer in one move. "Do not let anyone out of this alley!" He stood a moment and reared his gun as he checked the shadows.

PART TEN

Smart and Hilton returned to Washington D.C. after dealing with the Collinsport Police. Their chief and superior eyeballed the lost microfilm satisfactorily after wondering if it'd ever turn up again.

"You two did a good job," He replied. "To tell you the truth, some of the agents were betting on whether you'd find it."

Larabee hovered nearby. He snapped his fingers in the Chief's face a few times as his superior pulled out a fifty and slapped it into his fat fingers.

"What's next?" Max asked. "Do we go back and find out who killed Parker?"

"No, Max." The chief sat down. "We're leaving that up to the Collinsport police. We don't have time for a murder case."

"What a shame, Chief." Agent 99 sat on the edge of the desk. "I'd love to go back to Collinsport someday. Ghostly little girls, vampires, shadowy dark streets, it would make a great place to film a TV series!"

"99, who would want to watch a show like that?" He looked to Larabee.

"I would, Max. " Larabee answered. "There hasn't been anything good on since they canceled The Twilight Zone."

"Chief, " 99 spoke up. "There were some unanswered questions in this case. Couldn't I go back sometime?"

"No." The chief pulled out a file. "You and Max are going next to Mayberry, North Carolina, and I'm sending a copy of this case to a friend of mine in the FBI."

"The FBI?" Max made a look.

"Sure." The Chief of Control looked up. "Assistant Director Walter Skinner. He's starting and heading a X-Files Division."

END


End file.
